FML
by Wingless Night
Summary: The episodes of Merlin as entries on the infamous FML website. Warnings: Spoilers and cursing. Now Completed.
1. Episode 1

**Title**: FML**  
Author**: Cade and Sarah  
**Spoilers: **Yes. A lot.**  
Warnings:** Cursing... and the like, I suppose.  
**Disclaimer**: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by people who are not me. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.**  
Author's Note**: While watching _Merlin_ for the first time, a friend and I just started to get the idea for an FML fic. So this is written by the both of us, but is posting to my account. Hope you all enjoy. Please make any guesses as to who is who. I think it's pretty obvious, but its fun.  
**Posted From: **Utah

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Episode One - The Dragon's Call

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* * *

Tiny_Hawk posts: _

Today I arrived in Camelot. Within minutes of being here, I realized that they kill people like me. FML.

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* * *

Siryn posts:_

Today someone was beheaded right outside my window. Must talk to my guardian about a room change. FML.

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* * *

Good2BKing posts:_

Tdoay someone threatened my son and me. Nt unusual but then seh disappeared into thin air. FML.

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ScientificMethod posts:_

Today my friend's son came to say with me. I had promised my friend that I would watch her son. Unfortunately not only is he an idiot – and yet I find myself fond of him, but his existence is illegal, if you get my meaning. FML.

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Tiny_Hawk posts: _

Today I stood up for someone. Too bad this got me thrown in prison. FML.

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* * *

PrinceAwesome posts:_

Today someone spoiled my fun. FML.

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* * *

Tiny_Hawk posts:_

Today I got thrown in the stocks and my guardian thought this was hilarious. FML.

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* * *

PrinceAwesome posts:_

Got my ass beaten by a scrawny peasant boy in front of everyone. They cheered for him. FML.

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* * *

Tiny_Hawk posts:_

Today I heard voices again. They sounded different from normal. My guardian's medicine isn't working. FML.

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* * *

OldeMagick posts_:

Today I found myself acquainted with a small man who is a big man. He seemed to be incapable of flight. Sadly, this is the most exciting thing to happen to me in four years. FML.

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* * *

PrinceAwesome posts:_

I fell asleep at the banquet and a knife was thrown at my face. That little bastard peasant boy who made a fool of me saved my ass. My father gave him to me as a manservant. Revenge will be sweet, but still… FML.

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* * *

Tiny_Hawk posts:_

Today I saw a witch doing some creepy shit at a banquet. So I decided to save someone's life. My reward was to be his servant. FML.

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ScientificMethod posts:_

My ward is an idiot and won't stop using you know what. FML.

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Good2BKing posts_:

Today at a banquet, my son was almost killed. I rewarded the man who saved him with servant status. He did not seem to want it. What the hell? FML.


	2. Episode 2

**Spoilers: **Yes. A lot. If you can think it, I can spoil it!**  
Warnings:** None. Well… cursing. Yes, definitely cursing. **  
****Posted From: **The Grand Canyon

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Episode 2 - Valiant

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* * *

PrinceAwesome posts:_

My new manservant cannot dress me properly. Guess I'll have to dress myself from now on. FML.

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* * *

Tiny_Hawk posts_:

Today I sucked at my job. FML.

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* * *

PrinceAwesome posts:_

My manservant seems to have learned something. What a surprise. Now I'm going to have to find something else to mock. FML.

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* * *

Tiny_Hawk posts_:

Today, I noticed a knight in the tournament was using magic. That's cheating, right? FML.

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* * *

Tiny_Hawk posts_:

I went looking for evidence by breaking and entering. This crazy shield thing tried to kill me. FML.

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* * *

PrinceAwesome posts:_

I trusted my manservant today. Remind me never to do that again. He brought me some dubious proof that a knight was using magic to cheat So I appeared before my father and the court to bring the matter to attention. The evidence did not hold up and now the entire court thinks me a coward. I should… did fire my manservant. FML.

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* * *

Tiny_Hawk posts_:

I got fired today for doing the right thing. FML.

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* * *

Tiny_Hawk posts:_

Today I made a vicious dog from a statue. It didn't look so mean as a statue. FML.

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ScientificMethod posts:_

My ward is an idiot. He has created some type of feral dog in his chambers And I am not anachronistic enough to have a tazer handy. FML.

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* * *

PrinceAwesome posts:_

Today I saw magic try to kill me with my own eyes. FML.

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Tiny_Hawk posts:_

Today I became a manservant again. FML.

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* * *

Siryn posts:_

I helped out a childhood friend today and he was a complete douche about it. I should have just let him get killed. FML.

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* * *

PrinceAwesome posts:_

My childhood friend thinks she helped me out today. Doesn't she realize I am manly enough to fight my own battles? FML. Oh, and I took that scrawny peasant boy back as a manservant. Double FML.


	3. Episode 3

**Spoilers: **Yes. A lot. If you can think it, I can spoil it!**  
Warnings:** None. Well… cursing. Yes, definitely cursing. **  
Posted From: **New Mexico, The Land of Enchantment. (No, seriously, it's what the welcome sign said).

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Episode 3 – The Mark of Nimueh

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* * *

ScientificMethod posts:_

There's a new disease in town. I've no idea what it is. FML.

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* * *

Tiny_Hawk posts:_

There's a disease going around and my guardian is totally forbidding me from curing it with magic – which I totally could! FML.

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PrinceAwesme posts_:

My father's making me search everywhere for the cause of this sickness. It's rather boring. FML.

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SmilingViolet239 posts:_

My father has taken ill with the sickness that has been going through Camelot. Everyone else who has had it has died. FML.

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* * *

Tiny_Hawk posts:_

Today I tried to save my best friend's father. While I did manage to cure him, my best friend got thrown in jail and is now accused of being a witch. FML.

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* * *

SmilingViolet239 posts:_

My father is better but I am in jail. FML.

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Siryn posts:_

My maidfriend has been thrown in prison and there is talk of execution. FML.

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PrinceAwesome posts:_

Everyone thinks I'm an asshole. I think I'm an asshole. FML.

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* * *

Good2BKing posts:_

Today ym ward got very bitch wtih me for doing my job. FML.

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* * *

Tiny_Hawk posts:_

Today I confessed to being a sorcerer in front of the entire court, including the King. Especially the King! _No one_ believed me. FML.

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* * *

ScientificMethod posts:_

My ward is a complete idiot. You know what you did. FML.

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* * *

PrinceAwesome posts:_

My manservant admitted to the crime to get is crush out of being executed. I had to do some pretty awesome things to get him off if I do say so myself. Still, FML.

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* * *

Good2BKing posts:_

I almost gt to kill my son's incompetant servant today. But then I hds to say no. FML.

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* * *

ScientificMethod posts:_

Today, when my ward and I reached the underground reservoir, I realized he makes a rather fine meat-shield. But then I felt bad about it. FML.

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* * *

OldeMagick posts:_

The little big man visited me again, asking me some questions. I gave him the advice that I could but I don't think he quite understood what I was saying. FML.

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* * *

Tiny_Hawk posts:_

My mentor and I found the scary monster that's been causing the sickness. I have to go find the prince and tell him all about it so that he can hopefully kill it.

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* * *

Siryn posts:_

Today I forgot I could fight. FML.

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* * *

PriestessofAvalon posts:_

Today a little brat spoiled my plans to destroy Camelot. Spectacularly. FML.


	4. Episode 4

**Spoilers: **Yes. A lot. If you can think it, I can spoil it!**  
Warnings:** None. Well… cursing. Yes, definitely cursing. **  
Posted From: **Oklahoma

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Episode Four – The Poisoned Chalice

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* * *

Tiny_Hawk posts:_

Today the prince made me wear a stupid hat. A really, really stupid hat. Even my best friend laughed at me. FML.

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* * *

PrinceAwesome posts:_

Totally just wanted to get shitfaced and plastered. My manservant doesn't understand this as he keeps babbling about poison and cups. Who cares? FML.

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* * *

Tiny_Hawk posts:_

I found out that the prince's drink was poisoned. So I was made to drink it instead. FML.

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* * *

PrinceAwesome posts:_

Today my manservant is dying. I've realized I may actually like him. FML.

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* * *

Good2BKing posts:_

The treaty I hve just made (_literally_ just made) is falling apart. FML.

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* * *

Siryn posts:_

Today I was unable to beat someone with a kitchen utensil. FML.

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* * *

PrinceAwesome posts:_

I thought it would be awesome of me to embark on an awesome adventure to find the awesome cure for my not-so-awesome manservant. My father said unawesomely no. FML.

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* * *

Good2BKing posts:_

My son wants to risk his life for a servant I don't evn like. FML.

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* * *

PrinceAwesome posts:_

Today I met a really hot chick. After leading me to the poison's cure, it turned out she was a witch and tried to kill me. FML.

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* * *

ScientificMethod posts:_

It turns out my ward can't stop his illegal endeavors, even while in a near-comatose state. FML.

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* * *

PrinceAwesome posts:_

Today magic saved my life. I am so conflicted. FML.

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* * *

PrinceAwesome posts:_

Not only was I thrown in prison today, but my father smashed the cure for my manservant. You know, the cure I almost died getting back to Camelot. FML.

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* * *

SmilingViolet239 posts:_

Today I was almost arrested while smuggling my friend's cure out of jail. I don't want to go back to jail. FML.

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* * *

ScientificMethod posts:_

My ward has died. FML.

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* * *

ScientificMethod posts:_

Apparently he was just faking it. FML.

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* * *

PriestessofAvalon posts:_

Fuck. My. Life. FML.


	5. Episode 5

**Spoilers: **Yes. A lot. If you can think it, I can spoil it!**  
Warnings:** None. Well… cursing. Yes, definitely cursing.

* * *

Episode Five – Lancelot

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* * *

Tiny_Hawk posts:_

Today I almost got eaten by a weird monster three times my size. FML.

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* * *

PrinceAwesome posts:_

I've kicked the asses of so many knights, it just isn't fun anymore. FML.

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* * *

Tiny_Hawk posts:_

I want to help my friend accomplish his lifelong dream, but I've just found out that a law prevents it. He would be so good at it, too. FML.

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* * *

Tiny_Hawk posts:_

Today I forged documents using my "special talent" to help my friend become a knight. I felt bad about it, but not as bad as I should. FML.

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* * *

PrinceAwesome posts:_

Today, the new nobleman kicked my ass in a fight. FML. BTDubs, he may be prettier than me. Double FML.

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* * *

Tiny_Hawk posts:_

My mentor tried to ruin my friend's Knighting Party for me. He totally ruins my buzz. FML.

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* * *

Tiny_Hawk posts:_

Today, my forgery was discovered. And while it has not been discovered that I made it, my friend is now in jail. FML.

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* * *

PrinceAwesome posts:_

Well, my new knight is actually not a nobleman. Feeling very betrayed here. Mainly because he seemed to be friendly and more importantly, was actually competent. FML.

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* * *

PrinceAwesome posts:_

Today I and my knights got our asses kicked by a strange flying monster. My father still will not listen to me on the subject of the now ex-knight. FML.

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* * *

Good2BKing posts:_

There's a weird monster eating my subjects. FML.

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* * *

Good2BKing posts:_

Turns out the weird monster is a mythical/magical creature tht my physician calls a "griffin." Why me? FML.

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* * *

PrinceAwesome posts:_

Today I got my ass kicked by a _griffin_. Again. FML.

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* * *

PrinceAwesome posts:_

My new knight – yes, _knight_ – who defeated the griffin is actually refusing to be my knight. Fuck him. FML.

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* * *

Tiny_Hawk posts: _

Today my friend found out that I could do magic. Maybe my mentor is right and that I should be a bit more careful. FML.

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* * *

ScientificMethod posts:_

Yes. Yes, you should. FML.

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* * *

SmilingViolet239 posts:_

So this guy that I kind of like decided to move out of Camelot. He'll probably find hotter chicks than me out there. FML.


	6. Episode 6

**Spoilers: **Yes. A lot. If you can think it, I can spoil it!**  
Warnings:** None. Well… cursing. Yes, definitely cursing.

* * *

Episode 6 – A Remedy to Cure All Ills

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* * *

Siryn posts:_

Today, I fell into a coma. FML.

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* * *

ScientificMethod posts:_

I don't know what's wrong with the king's ward. FML.

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* * *

PrinceAwesome posts:_

Some ugly guy approached me about my father's ward's condition. How did he know? FML.

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* * *

Good2BKing posts:_

I can't wake my ward. I'm so desperate, I'm asking doctors I don't know at all to help her! FML.

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* * *

ScientificMethod posts:_

My suspicion senses are tingling. FML.

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* * *

Tiny_Hawk posts:_

I'm starting to notice that every week something else is going wrong. FML.

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* * *

ScientificMethod posts:_

Today I spoke to an old friend about looking at some restricted records. He told me no. FML.

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* * *

ScientificMethod posts: _

I just figured out that the guy forcing me out is evil and wants revenge against the king. FML.

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* * *

ScientificMethod posts:_

Today I was fired after twenty-five years of service to the King of Camelot. If I was a total asshole, I'd air all his dirty laundry. But I'm not. FML.

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* * *

Tiny_Hawk posts:_

My mentor was just fired by the King. I want to come with him, but he's leaving me behind. FML.

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* * *

SmilingViolet239 posts:_

The court physician is abandoning us. I tried to make him stay, but he wouldn't. FML.

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* * *

Good2BKing posts:_

The guy I hred to replace my trusted court physician and friend (though I would never admit it) turned out to want to kill me. FML.

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* * *

ScientificMethod posts:_

I decide to confront the bastard that stole my job and threatened my ward and the king. Why do I have a conscience? This is going to get me killed. FML.

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* * *

Tiny_Hawk posts:_

I needed to get the new court physician for the king and found that he was trying to kill my mentor. So I killed him instead. FML.

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* * *

Tiny_Hawk posts:_

I have to save the man who might someday kill me for what I am about to do. FML.

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* * *

Good2BKing posts:_

I hd to apologise to someone today. FML.


	7. Episode 7

**Spoilers: **Yes. A lot. If you can think it, I can spoil it!**  
Warnings:** None. Well… cursing. Yes, definitely cursing.

* * *

Episode 7 – The Gates of Avalon

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* * *

Tiny_Hawk posts: _

Went hunting. FML.

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* * *

PrinceAwesome posts:_

My manservant doesn't seem to understand the concept of silence. FML.

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* * *

Tiny_Hawk posts:_

My master doesn't seem to want to have a crush on this pretty girl that we found while hunting today. I basically had to force him toward her. FML.

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Siryn posts:_

I had a dream that my childhood friend died, killed by the woman he just brought back to the castle. No one believes me that its going to happen and I can't tell them why I hate her so much. FML.

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* * *

Tiny_Hawk posts:_

In order to spend time with the pretty girl, m master put me in a position where I got put in the stocks again. Fuck him. FML.

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* * *

Good2BKing posts:_

Today I had my son's servant put in the stocks. Because itis time of peace, I could not rationalize having him flogged. FML.

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* * *

Tiny_Hawk posts:_

Today they were using potatoes. What ever happened to rotten tomatoes?

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* * *

ScientificMethod posts:_

My ward can't seem to avoid the stocks. I don't know what this says about his mental capacity. FML.

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PrinceAwesome posts:_

Under a spell. FML.

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* * *

Good2BKing posts:_

My son wants to get married toa girl he just met. She isn't even that well politically connected. FML.

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* * *

ScientificMethod:_

The king's guests are definitely strange, if the man's color-changing eyes have anything to say about that. Now what to do? FML.

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* * *

PrinceAwesome posts:_

Can't get married to the girl I like. Still under a spell. FML.

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* * *

Tiny_Hawk posts:_

Have to go rescue the prince. FML.

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* * *

Tiny_Hawk posts:_

I just blew up two people. I don't feel very guilty about this. My master is a bad influence on me. FML.

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* * *

Tiny_Hawk posts:_

We needed to create a cover story for our cover story. Unfortunately, the second cover story depicts me as far less awesome than I actually am. FML.


	8. Episode 8

**Spoilers: **Yes. A lot. If you can think it, I can spoil it!**  
Warnings:** None. Well… cursing. Yes, definitely cursing.

Episode 8 – The Beginning of the End

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* * *

Good2BKing posts:_

Druids are invading ym Kingdom!! FML!!!

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* * *

Tiny_Hawk posts:_

I am hearing voices again. FML.

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* * *

Siryn posts:_

My maidfriend's friend brought a fugitive to my chambers, asking me to harbor him. I have decided to assist the boy, even though my guardian can possibly hang me for it. FML.

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* * *

PrinceAwesome posts:_

There's a little druid brat that I am ordered to find. While I have yet to locate him, I now know that the candlestick maker has the largest collection of porn I've ever seen (so many ankles, jeez!). I also found that I had to confiscate a rather large bundle of dwarfmoss from the carpenter. And to my great astonishment, it turns out Sir Kay is a woman. No, seriously, she's a woman. I can never tell my father. Back to searching, then. FML.

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* * *

Anonymous57321 posts:_

Thanks for outing me, asshole. FML.

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* * *

Siryn posts:_

Not only was there another execution outside of my window (I really, really, _really_ need to get a new room) but now my mirror is broken as well. I can never say how it came to be broken. FML.

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* * *

SmilingViolet239 posts:_

I'm totally going to get blamed for that broken mirror. FML.

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* * *

Tiny_Hawk posts:_

I should probably tell my mentor about what I've been doing recently. I don't know how to broach the subject. FML.

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* * *

ScientificMethod posts:_

My ward possess no innate talent of subtlety. Also, he needs to learn how to shut the door. FML.

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* * *

Siryn posts:_

Totally got caught smuggling the boy out of Camelot. What a waste of the biggest adrenaline rush I've had in months. FML.

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* * *

PrinceAwesome posts:_

Had to arrest my childhood best friend. FML.

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* * *

Good2BKing posts:_

My ward has been plotting against me. FML.

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* * *

Siryn posts:_

Am totally on the king's shitlist. Le fuck my life.

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* * *

PrinceAwesome posts:_

So my best friend managed to manipulate me, no wrong word. What I really mean is that I came up with an awesome plan to get the druid boy the fuck out of my castle. BTDubs, it is an awesome plan. My friend had no part in coming up with this awesome plan. At all. The infinitely small problem with my awesome plan is that I have to rely on my generally incompetent manservant for help. FML.

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* * *

Tiny_Hawk posts:_

So I was told today that if I didn't let the boy die, who I've been helping all week, my destin is fucked. What should I do? I'm considering letting him die. FML.

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* * *

Tiny_Hawk posts:_

So it turns out that despite the bad influence of half the people I know, I am a nice guy. I helped bust the kid out, and now my entire destiny is fucked. FML.

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* * *

Good2BKing posts:_

The druid boy escaped. Why does the security in my prison suck? Must charge my son with fixing the little security problem of my dungeons. FML.

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* * *

OldeMagick posts:_

The young warlock doesn't listen to a fucking thing I say. Why does he even bother stopping by? FML.

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* * *

ScientificMethod posts:_

OldeMagick, welcome to my world. FML.


	9. Episode 9

**Spoilers: **Yes. A lot. If you can think it, I can spoil it!**  
Warnings:** None. Well… cursing. Yes, definitely cursing.

Episode 9 – Excalibur

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* * *

PrinceAwesome posts:_

Today was my awesome birthday party where I was named crowned prince. It was awesome. Note the _was_. Some asshole on a horse decided to crash my awesome party. Emphasis on _crash_. As in through a window. Totally killed the mood of my awesome party. Cuz it was awesome. FML.

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* * *

PrinceAwesome posts:_

One of my knights is dead because he was an idiot and picked up the gauntlet. My father stopped me before I could get the gauntlet so now someone else is fighting. Why does everyone else get all of the fun? FML.

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* * *

Good2BKing posts:_

I think I may have trained my son too well. FML.

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* * *

ScientificMethod_ _posts_:

So I figured out who this crazy black knight is. Unfortunately he's dead. And I have to tell the King. FML.

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* * *

Tiny_Hawk posts_:

I have to go research how to kill dead people. FML.

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* * *

Good2BKing posts:_

Why won't that bitch who killed my wife leave me the fuck lone? FML.

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* * *

PriestessofAvalon posts_:

Why do I keep failing to kill idiots? FML.

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* * *

PrinceAwesome posts:_

Another one of my knights is dead. So I decided to throw down my own gauntlet (before my father could stop me). Unfortunately, this may actually get me killed. FML.

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* * *

Good2bKing posts:_

OH. SHIT. FML.

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* * *

PrinceAwesome posts:_

After spending all day training for the upcoming fight, I get rufied by the court physician. FML.

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* * *

SmilingViolet239 posts:_

Had to steal my father's sword in order to help the prince. FML.

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* * *

Tiny_Hawk posts:_

Had to convince the dragon to bless the sword. Harder than one would think. FML.

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* * *

Tiny_Hawk posts:_

The King stole the sword that I sword would only be used by the prince. FML.

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Good2BKing posts:_

I might actually die today. FML.

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* * *

Good2BKing posts_:

Did not die, buy now I must think up a good way to explain to my son why I had the court physician drug him. FML.

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* * *

Tiny_Hawk posts:_

I should learn how to actually do what I promise to The dragon has lost all trust in me. FML.

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* * *

OldeMagick posts:_

I should actually figure out that this kid never listens to me. FML.


	10. Episode 10

**Spoilers: **Yes. A lot. If you can think it, I can spoil it!**  
Warnings:** None. Well… cursing. Yes, definitely cursing.

* * *

Episode 10 – The Moment of Truth

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* * *

Tiny_Hawk posts:_

Today, my mother showed up She has a black eye and tells me there is trouble at home. FML.

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* * *

Tiny_Hawk posts_:

Went to the King for help. None is forthcoming. Guess I'll have to do everything myself. FML.

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* * *

PrinceAwesome posts:_

I sent my worst manservant off today to go and help his village. Now what will I do? FML.

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* * *

Siryn posts_:

Pants are rather comfortable. I'm not sure I'm okay with this. FML.

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SmilingViolet293 posts:_

Agreed, Siryn. FML.

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* * *

Tiny_Hawk posts:_

Almost took off the prince's head… by accident. FML.

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* * *

PrinceAwesome posts_:

Almost go my head chopped off. My manservant is an idiot. FML.

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* * *

PrinceAwesome posts:_

I cannot teach these peasants even the basics of fighting. FML.

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Tiny_Hawk posts:_

My best friend can't seem to keep his mouth shut. FML.

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* * *

PrinceAwesome posts:_

I have not eaten in three days. Don't these people have food? FML.

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* * *

SmilingViolet239 posts:_

I yelled at the prince today. FML. But he was being a jerk, so I'm sure my lady would agree with my actions.

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* * *

Tiny_Hawk posts:_

My childhood best friend is making me feel guilty. Why does he remind me so much of my mentor? FML.

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* * *

Tiny_Hawk posts:_

I have decided to tell my master the truth. Hopefully he will not have me beheaded for this. FML.

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* * *

Tiny_Hawk posts:_

Confession was interrupted by battle. FML.

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* * *

Tiny_Hawk posts:_

The prince is suspicious. Even though I do want him to know, this doesn't seem to be going well. FML.

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* * *

PrinceAwesome posts:_

My manservant may be a sorcerer. FML.

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* * *

Tiny_Hawk posts:_

My childhood best friend was shot and killed today. On his deathbed, he confessed that he was the sorcerer, which will make it awkward when I finally have to tell the prince the truth. FML. (Rest in Peace, Will). Triple FML.

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* * *

Tiny_Hawk_ _posts_:

The prince was very disrespectful and a royal prick at my friend's funeral. I ignored him as best I could, but now… maybe I should say something? FML.

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* * *

Siryn posts:_

Had to tell the prince off for being a royal asshole during the funeral of a boy who saved his fucking life! If he was so intent on being a douchebag, he could have the decency to wait until after the funeral. FML for being a little related to him.

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* * *

AuthorSquared_ _posts_:

Today we got punched in the face by the rainbow fists of gay from this episode. Sigh. Fuck our Lives.


	11. Episode 11

**Spoilers: **Yes. A lot. If you can think it, I can spoil it!**  
Warnings:** None. Well… cursing. Yes, definitely cursing.

* * *

Episode 11 – The Labyrinth of Gedref

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Tiny_Hawk posts_:

Was forced to go hunting again. FML. Was used as bait. Double FML.

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Tiny_Hawk posts:_

The prince just killed the most beautiful creature I've ever seen. FML. After this, I was the only one to see a strange man before he disappeared. Once again, double FML.

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ScientificMethod posts:_

No one believes me when I tell them that doom will befall someone because of the unicorn that was killed. FML.

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Good2BKing posts:_

Today all of the crops in my kingdom have failed. FML.

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SmilingViolet239 posts:_

Today I tried to get water from the pump and all that came out was sand. FML.

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Tiny_Hawk posts:_

I can't change the sand back into water, using my so brilliant powers, something even my mentor wants me to do. FML.

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PrinceAwesome posts:_

There's a rat in my chambers, eating my boots. FML.

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PrinceAwesome posts:_

I realized that my servant does not even know the most basic of hand signals. He really is an idiot. FML.

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Tiny_Hawk posts:_

The prince won't take responsibility for the problems facing Camelot. FML.

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PrinceAwesome posts:_

Today my manservant made me eat rat. FML.

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Tiny_Hawk posts: _

The royal prat made me eat the rat that I cooked for him. FML.

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Siryn posts:_

I think I just ate rat. FML. I'm so hungry that I don't really care. Double FML.

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Tiny_Hawk posts:_

The prince has failed his test and now all of Camelot will be ruined. FML.

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Tiny_Hawk posts:_

When bargaining to get the prince another chance to save Camelot, I admitted that I think he will be a good kind. Hopefully I don't have to do that again. FML.

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PrinceAwesome posts:_

My father wants me to kill the sorcerer. How can I kill him if I cannot catch him? FML.

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Tiny_Hawk posts:_

The prince has gone out to face the last test alone and won't let me come. FML. Btws, I'm totally following him.

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Tiny_Hawk posts: _

Have been captured by the guardian of the unicorns. FML.

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PrinceAwesome posts:_

I made it to the center of the labyrinth only to find my manservant has been captured despite my express orders for him to _not follow me_. FML.

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Tiny_Hawk posts:_

The prince drank poison for me. FML.

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PrinceAwesome posts:_

Drank poison. FML.

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PrinceAwesome posts:_

I can never tell my father that I didn't kill the sorcerer. FML.


	12. Episode 12

**Spoilers: **Yes. A lot. If you can think it, I can spoil it!**  
Warnings:** None. Well… cursing. Yes, definitely cursing.

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Episode 12 – To Kill A King

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PrinceAwesome posts:_

Had to arrest the father of my friend's maid. This can only end badly. FML.

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SmilingViolet239 posts:_

Daddy was arrested!!!! FUCK!!! FML.

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Siryn posts:_

Tried to get my maid's dad out of prison. It's didn't go to plan and he's probably going to be executed. FML.

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Good2BKing posts:_

Sorcery!!!!!1111!!!!11! FML!!!1

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PrinceAwesome posts:_

My father and my childhood best friend are fighting. Again. FML.

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Siryn posts:_

I tried to help my friend's dad escape from prison this time. He was killed. Horrible. FML. My maid can never know. Double FML.

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SmilingViolet239 posts:_

My father was killed today. I feel like shit. FML.

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Good2BKing posts:_

My ward challenged me today. FML.

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Siryn posts:_

I was thrown in the dungeons today! Who does the King think I am?! FML!!

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PrinceAwesome posts:_

Why do I always feel like an asshole? FML!

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Tiny_Hawk posts:_

PrinceAwesome – because you are one. FML.

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Siryn posts:_

Tiny_Hawk, I concur. FML.

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SmilingViolet239 posts:_

The sorcerer sort of responsible for my dad's death attacked me today when I went home. I can never go back again. FML!

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Siryn posts:_

My maid was attacked. FML.

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Tiny_Hawk posts:_

I followed the king's ward today and saw her making plans with evil sorcerers to kill the king. FML.

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Tiny_Hawk posts:_

My friend made me feel like an asshole today. Why is she such a nice person? FML.

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Tiny_Hawk posts:_

Was knocked unconscious when trying to stop the assassination of the king. FML.

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Good2BKing posts:_

Almost assassinated today. FML.

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Siryn posts: _

Totally sissy-ed out at the last second. FML. But don't feel totally bad about this. Double FML.


	13. Episode 13

**Spoilers: **Yes. A lot. If you can think it, I can spoil it!**  
Warnings:** None. Well… cursing. Yes, definitely cursing.

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Episode 13 – Le Morte d'Arthur

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Tiny_Hawk posts:_

Went hunting today. FML. Almost eaten by a beast five times my size. I'm started to sense a pattern here. Double FML.

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PrinceAwesome posts_:

One of my hunting party was eaten today. FML.

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Tiny_Hawk posts:_

The King doesn't seem to understand how large this beast was and has sent us off to kill it. FML.

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Tiny_Hawk posts:_

Why do I always get dragged along on these hunting trips?! I can't even do anything unless I'm alone or everyone's unconscious! FML.

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Siryn posts:_

I had a dream that my childhood best friend would die. FML.

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PrinceAwesome posts:_

My childhood best friend freaked out on me for no apparent reason. What the hell? FML.

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Tiny_Hawk posts:_

The prince was attacked and bitten by a beast with a fatal bite while I was supposed to be protecting him. This is totally going to get me killed. FML.

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ScientificMethod posts:_

No one ever listens to me. Why haven't they learned to just _listen to me_? FML.

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Tiny_Hawk posts:_

Trying to save the Prince. Nothing's working. FML.

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Good2BKing posts: _

Oh my God, my son!!!!! FML!!!!

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Tiny_Hawk posts:_

I went to the dragon to ask how to cure the prince. Apparently the only way is to sacrifice someone else's life. I'm prepared to offer my own for the prat. FML.

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ScientificMethod posts:_

My surrogate son is leaving to sacrifice himself for the prince. FML.

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Tiny_Hawk posts:_

The priestess I was told to find to save the prince turns out to be a woman who has been trying to kill me for a while now. FML.

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ScientificMethod posts:_

Today I lied to my King, and fairly badly at that. FML. (Thankfully, the King's grief over his son blinded him to the fact that I had no idea what I was talking about.)

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Tiny_Hawk posts:_

I had to dodge questions from my mentor about whose life I bargained for the prince's. I hate to have an argument with him when I might be dead tomorrow. FML.

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Tiny_Hawk posts:_

It turns out that OldeMagick is a douchebag. Even though I sacrificed my life to cure the prince, it's taking my mom's instead. FML. (BTW, I am never speaking to that asshole again!)

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OldeMagick posts:_

I resent that! Today, my true motives were learned and I got fucked over. FML.

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Tiny_Hawk posts:_

The prince thinks my mentor cured him, and I can never tell him the truth. FML.

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PrinceAwesome posts:_

My manservant is acting weird, weirder than usual. Something tells me he's about to do something incredibly stupid and I can't do anything to stop it. FML.

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Tiny_Hawk posts:_

My mentor has gone off to sacrifice himself for me. FML!

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ScientificMethod posts:_

I seem to be dead. FML.

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Tiny_Hawk posts:_

My mentor's dead!! FML!

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PriestessofAvalon posts:_

The powerful warlock will not rule the world with me. FML.

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PriestessofAvalon posts:_

I just got blown up. Fuck. My. Life. [_Account terminated._]


End file.
